Why I Got Married!
As, I grow older my view on relationships has changed a great deal. In my church, we have been having service in reference to 'Real Life Relationships' on Wednesday nights - it will go on until June 19. If you live in the Atlanta area, I suggest you come out and hear the word for yourself and get blessed! Go to my church site here and find out all the information you need, etc.
Anyhow, I have been really blessed by the word and the dialogues given during each Wednesday session! I love my new church home – learning and growing!! Yes!! Yes! Blessed!
In thinking, of my own past mistakes when it comes to relationships. I realized more than I have ever that…my marriage failed b/c it was not what God wanted for me. It was, what I wanted for myself. I don’t think I have ever even shared this. My ex-husband and I decided to get married like a couple of days before we got married! Ha! Yeah! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Our families, didn't know of our marriage until after it happened...and when we got divorce - most people saw it coming...we were married for 15 months.
We didn’t do any pre-marital counseling! We got married quickly for various reasons. I remember other Christians asking me afterwards…was I sure God agreed to this union. I told them all yeah, we prayed about it beforehand…AND we did….BUT we didn’t really wait for a response from God really. We both had things [things of the flesh] - that we desired and were to gain from being married. Him more than me. I just wanted a husband. Truth be told. As, I was getting older. I wanted so desperately to get married. So, I agreed without really seeking God truthfully with my whole heart about the matter…. AND boy did I learn a HUGE lesson from that experience.
My marriage was doomed before it ever even began. We knew each other for about 6 months total before we got married. We didn’t date or anything like that. I actually meet him via one of his friends that I dated. Ha! Yeah! Anyhow, we kept in touch and communicated and he was planning on coming to Atlanta for Christmas break and we were planning to do some Charity stuff when he came. We never got to that but we hung out and decided to get married and we did just that! Young and foolish!! We both were Christians, grew up in the church, etc ….BUT obviously we were still babies and not mature in our Faith…b/c if we were - WE would have both known better!
We had a lot of different issues in our relationship. It was hard to keep a smile many days. It was a mess. Love didn’t live in our house many days!...but we kept trying in the flesh to make it work. We prayed but he had his reasons for keeping the marriage together..and I had mines… AND it wasn’t b/c we were…so in love with one another. Wrong!
I know, if our union was God ordained. We would have done things A LOT differently than what we had. That, I know. I did however, pray a lot and really seek God during the separation…and when that day came and it was all finalized. I had a peace come over me like I had never experience and I will never forget that day. It’s been 2yrs since our divorce was finalized.
We have since forgiven one another for both of our actions during marriage.
B/c of my failed marriage – that’s what really brought me to Christ like I had never been before- I was so broken, embarrassed, hurt and confused that it caused me to seek God more and want to understand His word more for my life. I went out and bought me a new bible, a Joyce Meyer book 'Start Your New Life Today.' I was determined to get my life in order.
I can honestly say I have GROWN a lot in the last 2 yrs. Yes, I may have stumbled a lil bit BUT Thankfully NOW I am on the right track!
I want to say this…even, if you did marry for the wrong reasons. If you are both Believers of Christ and seek Him diligently with your whole heart AND obey His commands. He is ABLE to restore your marriage and keep it together. Nothing is impossible with God! Nothing! Live life righteously and you will be blessed!
I don’t wish my experience on anyone but from it…I learned a GREAT deal…and I can say I am now really ready to be someone’s wife. No rushing! Patiently waiting, I will be! Going to do things the RIGHT way!
A male friend once told me that..a man knows his wife, the day he meets her. Based on, what I have seen in Christian relationships [Pastor level] including my Pastor and his wife…they both knew that their spouse was the one for them – the one God had ordained for them AND they didn’t commit any sinful acts before marriage.
So, while you're dating and you know in your spirit - that the person you are seeing is not the right person. Don’t waste your time with Mr/Miss Wrong! Let go & Let God bring to you His best for you!
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'God is a Matchmaker' by Derek Prince is a GOOD book to read! I read it awhile back [after the divorce]...good encouragement for those of you who are single - like me!
We have to learn to let go in order to RECEIVE the better. God's will is always for the BEST! So, we must all let go of our fleshy nature and Let GOD have our whole heart! Day by day, step by step! It's a PROCESS, doesn't happen over night!
AND we can't move forward if we continue to hold on to the things of our flesh and of the past! Let's move forward with GOD - Trusting and Believing in Him alone! Always remember that: What God opens no one can shut!