Snooping Around

Have you ever snooped around on a love interest? Wondering where they were? What were they doing? Who were they with? Who were they spending their money on?

If you are not married to this person and you feel the need to snoop. One, you know that something is going on. Two, you may just be a little paranoid from a previous relationship.

We typically, don't do things unless someone gives us a reason to do them. Rather then confront the person first, we like to take matters into our own hands. By doing our own investigation. When if we probably would have just asked initially they may have told us - what was going on and their would be no need to investigate. So, if your snooping is because of the second reason - you have trust issues from a prior relationship. You need to put yourself in check - if that person has not given you any reason to question them...b/c by not doing so - you risk the chance of losing your relationship from your craziness.

Now, if your reason is number one. AND you know something is going on and the person doesn't want to talk and be upfront with you. Not married, save yourself the drama and cut that person loose. Because if you can't talk to them now, you sure won't be able to talk to them after marriage. For any relationship to survive; communication is VERY IMPORTANT.

We should desire to be in a relationship with someone - who will be completely honest and upfront with us about what's going on. No matter what it is. There should be no need to sneak around snooping in their files, emails, texts, phone history, social media accounts, looking through their house/clothes/car, GPS history, etc. None. So, if you are doing this -> Stop it. You deserve more. Ask questions. No answers. Then end it. You don’t deserve to have to be checking up on your boo, to make sure they are being faithful to you. You should know that they are by ALL of their actions. You don’t want to have a relationship with someone you don’t trust! Not married -> Set yourself FREE!

Previous experience yrs ago:
I had what we will call a RATCHET relationship when I snooped on my boyfriend; because I had reasons to believe he was up to something. He had given me a key to his home. So, I went to his place when he wasn't home. To check and see if anything was out of the ordinary. I checked his accounts when he left them open on my computer. I drove by his place once. When, I drove by. I asked myself: why are you doing this? This is not you. If you have to do all of this you need to let this one go. So, I confronted him and told him I didn't want a key to prevent myself from doing this crazy stuff but he wouldn't take it back. I asked him was he messing around. He was. So, I told him I was done....but b/c he was fine to me at the time and had it on lock in the bedroom. [I wasn't living right at the time and I wasn't going to church regularly at that time of my life either.] I gave him another chance AND another until one of the girls started calling and harassing me - calling me all sorts of things. B****, etc. Me, I didn't know who she was. She sent me a picture of his name tattooed on her back. Yeah, that. Sigh. I was like WHY would this chick get your name tattooed on her if it wasn't that serious? He said: She's crazy. Yeah, I was like no female is going to do something like that unless there is more going on or she is crazy. The calls kept coming and one time I went in on her. So, not me...I was like dude you are turning me into someone I am not. He thought it was cute. I did not. Found out later, they had something prior and they were planning on moving in with one another. Before we got back together. Yeah, me and him had prior relationship but I ended no fault of his at that time. So, him doing this was payback for me dumping him earlier. He wanted to get me back. It worked. BUT I still didn't deserve that. I didn't cheat on him. I ended it. So, the girl and I chatted calmly one day - she told me that he loved me and I was his MAIN girl! RATCHETNESS! Main girl! What the heck. She knew he didn't really want her but she didn't care. I told him, I wasn't going to be playing his games anymore. I ended things. Then he became my stalker. He would come to my home and call my job, my cell constantly - he did this for a little over TWO years. He wouldn't harm me but was crazy. He wouldn't leave me alone. I threatened to call the cops several times...but he would leave - when I did that. The last time he came to my home. I was married and my husband was upstairs. [No drama happened, my husband didn't know he came.] BUT then, he finally left me alone.

BUT this could have been WORSE! These days, it is WORSE. People are dying over this crap. Getting diseases. Going to jail. Being hospitalized. Being murdered. Don't think it can't happen to you. It can. Just because he/she is fine or performs well in the bedroom is NO REASON at all to put up with this type of behavior. None. So, if you find yourself in a RATCHET relationship similar to this. Set yourself FREE & Save yourself! It's not worth it.