How Many Sex Partners?


Friend: How many sexual partners have you had? 

Me: Thinking where did that come from and why do you want to know?

Personally, I believe that type of question is a private matter. It's personal. So, for someone to just randomly ask you that? Friend or not. It’s inappropriate! 

Do people just randomly ask questions like such these days and it's acceptable? Like really? Why? 

So, I was curious to know if this is something people ask on a normal basis. So, I asked a few people. Most of them, thought it was inappropriate, to ask such question and said they would have gotten offended as well. Only one said they didn't mind being asked; because some people ask to know how experienced you are etc. Well, if we were dating possibly I could see where that would apply… but no that’s not the case here. So, why ask? 

My thinking, even if we were dating. I still don't feel it's a question to ask someone. I find it immature. I had to think back has anyone asked me that before? Thinking cap: Yeah, in my late teens…early 20’s maybe. Recent years: No. 

So, you get a number then what? If they had a high number. Do you find that attractive? Do you take them off your list of interest because of the high number? Do you think they are an expert in bed? If they had a low number? Do you think they are safer? Do you think they are inexperienced? Questions. Questions. 

I believe if you are IN a serious relationship with someone. The question shouldn't be how many partners you have but when was the last time have you been tested? Do you mind if we do that together, so we know our status? That's what should be the MAIN concern: knowing each other’s Health Status is more important than how many partners one has had.

Some people have past lives; they don't want to relive. Asking such questions may bring back negative memories of their past. 

From the perspective of one being a SAVED individual. A person who has given their life to Christ and in doing so -- was made a NEW Creation in Christ Jesus and they are truly living for Christ. This question is irrelevant. Why because they are not that same person.

If you are pursuing someone for marriage. I do advise to get tested for Health reasons before making a commitment to one another. BUT don’t worry about how many people they had sex with in their past or how experienced or inexperience they are. It’s a distraction. What you are establishing now is what matters, not their past. The good thing about Marriage is… you will have plenty of opportunity to explore one another sexually and get it right to your likings as a Married Couple. Creating Beautiful and NEW memories. However, just like in every relationship Communication is KEY. It is the KEY to building intimacy in your Marriage. So don’t forget to > Communicate! Communicate! Communicate! & Keep your focus on the NOW and on YOUR partner…not who was before you, etc. That’s how you get distracted! 

When a person is living right and you know their eyes are only on you and yours on them. You should only worry about the FUTURE and building a strong relationship with that person not the past. Keeping your attention on the past; will keep you back there. 

At the end of the day ... it doesn't matter if a person had 1 or 50 partners. Numbers, don’t determine how experience one is and it sure doesn’t determine how safe one is. 

::Health Tip::
I’ve found that the best policy in dating, is to not engage in sexual relations and wait for marriage to engage in such activities. I’m still marching along in my celibacy walk and you know what it’s easier than it was when I started[Jan 2013]! However, I know many will not practice celibacy. If you are that type person. Make sure you use a condom. Protect yourself and get tested every 6 months. Regardless, if you use a condom or not. Protect yourself and Get tested.

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